Clichè
by neko-hime21
Summary: Sakura Haruno had always wanted a clichè moment. But with a certain Uchiha around, clichè was beyond reach. SasuSaku. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Kishimoto does.

* * *

Clichés. Who would hate them? Well, I do. Why you ask? Because I've never got the Cliché moment that I've always wanted.

* * *

I was like every normal girl – despite my abnormally large forehead and pink hair – I wanted to have a prince charming who would sweep me off my feet and carry me to a magic castle and we would live happily ever, after. When I was twelve, I had a dream. My dream was for my crush – a teammate of mine in my genin team, Sasuke Uchiha – to be my prince charming, say he loves me, hugs me, kiss me, adore me. My dream was then _crushed_ to a million pieces by said boy who left the village after knocking me out in the middle of the night, leaving me on a freaking cold bench after pouring my heart out to him – declaring my undying love, and saying nothing but a simple 'thank you'… _A SIMPLE FREAKING THANK YOU_! And to think he left the village to gain more power from some gay snake man to have his stupid revenge on his psycho brother who killed the whole Uchiha Clan except Sasuke (for a very good reason of course; protecting the village behind a shadow. How noble).

After three and a half years of pursuing him, my other teammate, Naruto Uzumaki, finally managed to drag Sasuke back to the village after killing the snake man and his brother in a bloodied battle.

I was waiting in the front gates of the village when they both appeared, with wounds everywhere on their body. So being the good medic-nin I am, I rushed to their aid. After healing their wounds, I did what any (in)sane woman would do. I walked up to Sasuke and punched him. Hard. Did I mention I also had a monstrous strength? No? Well, let's just say I sent him crashing through seventy trees and may have damaged him even more before he got back. Oops.

"What the hell was that for?!" he demanded as he got up and dusted himself.

"For leaving me on a freaking bench, you bastard!" I yelled as I grabbed him and tossed him in front of a dumbfounded Naruto and stormed off.

Well, what did you expect? Us three hugging each other to death and Sasuke declaring his undying love to me? Tch, what a cliché.

* * *

After ignoring each other for three months, Sasuke and I decided to forget our little encounter after Naruto bugged us to have a team seven reunion at Ichiraku ramen, for past sakes. So, team seven finally started doing C-ranked and D-ranked missions after years of being disbanded. I was a chuunin so I was technically eligible for B-ranked missions or even higher – because I _am_ the Godaime Hokage's apprentice – but Naruto's still a genin (I honestly think he should start taking the chuunin exams by then, I mean, he wanted to be the Rokudaime Hokage for goodness sake!) and so is Sasuke, plus, his punishment was to be watched twenty-four-seven by at least two ANBU squad for two whole months and banishment to receive B-ranked missions or higher for a whole year.

Anyway… We were celebrating after a long mission to escort the Daimyo's nephew to the Land of Keys to meet her fiancé or whatnot. It was my turn to choose our hangout place (Thank God! I couldn't look at another bowl of ramen without puking, thanks to Naruto). And being Tsunade-shisou's apprentice, I kinda, sorta, maybe, picked up her habit. Which happened to be _drinking _A.K.A sake, drunk, hangover.

So, we all went to a nice little sake shop, and kinda, sorta, maybe, got tipsy (read; wasted). Naruto passed out first, which was why I had to call Hinata-chan – his sweet girlfriend – to drag him back home to his apartment (Tch, Naruto's such a wimp. I mean he only had five shots and BOOM, he's on the floor. Not as awesome as me of course, I could drink for all night and I'll still be able to walk home safely. I think. Hope). Sasuke's pretty good at holding his drinks too. We drank all night to our heart's content, then paid our bill and went our separate ways. Well, not the last part. Surprisingly, Mr. Ass offered to walk me home, he said (drawled) that it was late and my parents might get worried if I didn't make it home in one piece. Okay, I was offended but drunk at the same time, so I didn't beat the crap out of him and walked (staggered) back home with him by my side, and we talked (slurred) on the way (scratch that _'we'_, and change it into an _'I'_. Sasuke was socially retarded, so he just nodded while I did all the talking). So, we were in front of my doorstep, I opened my mouth to thank him when… he interrupted me. Rudely.

"Sakura, shut up, and go out with me." He said dryly. Well, that was… blunt. I was kinda, sorta, maybe, hoping he would ask me out on another night, when we weren't drunk, and he would admit that he was attracted to me all this time, and then we would make out under the moonlight (and maybe make some Uchiha babies) and all that clichés. I blinked, trying to digest his words. And then I did something that to this very day, I regret…

I passed out.

The next morning, I woke up finding myself in my room with a major hangover. And Sasuke, you may ask? Well, I don't know… what did you expect? Sasuke sleeping beside me? Hell, no. And the best part is, I couldn't remember anything about the past night.

* * *

So, I was on my way to the training grounds when I spotted Sasuke. His eyes landed on me as he approached me. "Sakura," he said monotonously in his oh-so-smooth voice, "Do you remember anything about last night?" he asked (read; demanded)

I groaned, "Sasuke, I'm having a major hangover here," I grumbled, "So stop being so loud, _woman_." Okay, that came out wrong.

His eyes twitched. He glared daggers. And before I knew it, his soft lips were on mine (No, I did not see fireworks, that'd be too cliché) and then, BAM! The kiss became a heated make out session, with the tongue, and teeth, and all.

After a good five minutes of non-stop tongue wrestling, we broke apart in need of oxygen. And then I heard a bush _cackling_. Stupid alcohol. Bushes can't cackle. Can they? So I grabbed a stick and poked the bush with it. And then a figure popped out. "AARRRGGG! MY EYEBALL IS BLEEDING! HELP!" Naruto cried as he clutched his left eye in his hand. I blinked. "Naruto? What are you doing here?" I asked or rather, drawled. (Okay, people. I am not stupid, I repeat, I am not stupid nor am I retarded in any way. I knew he was peeping, it was the alcohol, I swear!). Suddenly, another figure popped out of the bush. Kakashi was grinning under his mask with the latest icha-icha paradise in his hand. "Why, we were just here to have some good ol' training session– " he said before being interrupted by Naruto, "Yeah! Before you and teme decided to suck each other's souls out!" he yelled pointing an accusing finger at me, "By the way, where is he anyway?" he asked looking around with his single eye (since I poked the other one with the stick and Naruto's hand was still clutching his eye socket). I looked around to and spotted no signs of him.

I turned to look at Naruto and realized his left eye was indeed bleeding. So, being the responsible person I am, I healed his sorry little eyeball and went to training.

* * *

I was irritated. It was a month since Sasuke and I kissed (cough, made out, cough) and he didn't ask me out, or even talk about it, and it was frustrating! Every time I passed him, he would ignore me. Every time I tried to start a conversation, he would just grunt or give his normal _'hn_'s' (honestly, that boy needs a dictionary). It felt like we were back to step one.

So, I walked (stomped) to his apartment (since he was afraid to go back to the Uchiha compound, the massacre scarred him emotionally) and knocked (banged) on the door. He opened the door with a scowl on his (beautiful) face. "What?" he spat. "Why aren't you asking me out!?" I asked (demanded). To my surprise, he looked speechless. "Am I supposed to?" he asked innocently which, I admit, looked cute (Honestly, he could be so stupid sometimes). And to his surprise, I did something that to this day, I would never regret….

I kneed him. Between the legs. And then he clutched his… you know… and collapsed to the floor.

What? You didn't expect me to say yes and then jump on him and smother him with kisses, saying it was alright, we should go out later or something, do you? Tch, cliché.

* * *

"Sasuke-kuuuuun, I said I'm sorry…" I whined and pouted. He glared at me. "You kneed me between my legs…" he grumbled. I giggled as we walked through the busy streets of Konoha (side by side, not hand in hand, because that will be too cliché). "Well, it wasn't my fault to be so oblivious… What? Did you think you can just go make out with a random person and then, BOOM, you're in a relationship?" I huffed.

After I calmed down at his apartment that night, I took Sasuke to the hospital where a male medic healed his… yeah… (You don't think I want to go anywhere near that _thing_, don't you? I'm barely sixteen! And if you ask me, that male medic was giving Sasuke a somewhat seductive look… Stay back and molest Naruto instead, bitch!). After being healed, Sasuke cleared his throat and bluntly apologized for his obliviousness, and then asked (demanded) me to go out on a date with him the next night which I gladly accepted (since this was definitely a blow to his pride).

So, anyway… we walked side by side as he responded my rhetorical question with a 'hn' and mumbled something under his breath. "What was that?" I asked not getting the things he mumbled. "I said," he said quietly through gritted teeth as he stared at his foot, (probably hiding a blush. Do not hide your blush Sasuke-kun! You look cute with it!) "I asked you out the other day after the mission, but you passed out, so I knocked on the door, your mother opened it, asked me to carry you to your room and lay you there…" I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Oh." He shrugged, "Hn,"

This was our first date. So, we went to eat some sushi (no more drinking, _thankyouverymuch_), then take a short walk around the village (no, the sky wasn't shining with stars. Cliché), and then we ended up at the training ground. Sasuke abruptly stopped, so I followed suit. "Sasuke-kun?" I asked confusedly. "Hn," he mumbled as he leaned down (since I am a head shorter than him) to capture my lips. I closed my eyes, ready to taste those soft lips of his, when a kunai flew from the bushes and landed on my thigh, making me collapse to the ground with a thud.

DAMN IT! CAN'T I JUST HAVE _ONE_ CLICHÉ MOMENT?!

I recall Sasuke shouting my name and propping me up on his lap and death glaring –with his sharingan on– a figure who came running from the bushes. "AARGG! STUPID RACCOON!" Konohamaru yelled as he abruptly stopped when he saw my bloody (sexy) figure propped up against a glaring Sasuke, "S-Sakura nee-chan… is that my–" he stuttered as he pointed at the weapon planted in my thigh. "yes." Sasuke hissed, interrupting the boy. "I-I swear it w-was an accident…" Konohamaru put his hands up in a defensive manner. "It's alright," I winced in pain "Why are you training at this hour anyway?" He looked at me then at Sasuke, "Boss asked me a favor to spy on you and take pictures, but then there was a raccoon so I tried to hit it with my kunai, and it missed, _pleasedon'tkillme_…" he said rapidly as he ran away. "Naruto…." I growled but then felt a little lightheaded as I noticed the wound on my thigh and how I was losing my blood. "Sasuke-kun! Don't just sit here! Get me to the hospital before I die out of blood lost, baka!" I hissed as he carried me – bridal style – to the hospital.

* * *

I was eighteen then. I just moved in to his apartment (No, I was still a virgin then). It was a slow day. I was dozing off in Sasuke's bed, his strong arms wrapped around my waist, my head tucked on the crook of his neck, his head rested on mine. And before I knew it, things got… heated. To tell you the truth, I was a little scared, nervous and excited at the same time, because it would be my first time. I secretly wanted to have a (yet another) cliché moment where after… it… we would have a pillow talk, and then he would hold me and kiss me, and say he loves me.

Lips locking, hands roaming, clothes flying, pant here, moan there, and… BAM!

The door burst open and Naruto (of all people) came running blindly in. "TEME! WAKE UP! LET'S GO TO ICHIRAKU AND HAVE SOME RA–" Naruto's eyes bulged out of its socket, and for the first time of his life, he was left speechless. I thanked the heavens I was covered by the covers (and Sasuke's HOT body).

"_NARUTO GET OUT NOOOOWWWW_!" I yelled on the top of my lungs. Oh, Naruto didn't have the chance to _get_ out, because he _passed_ out. Talk about ruining the moment… So, we got out of bed, much to our dismay, and dragged Naruto through the hallway and dumped him to the couch in the living room. And once again, no clichés.

* * *

It was a year since I moved in with Sasuke. We occasionally go out on dates, usually after missions.

We usually go out to eat dinner (because Sasuke likes dates at night. Hm, wonder why…), then we go on a long walk around the village, and then engage on a lip-lock, and finally continue on the bed.

That night though, Sasuke abruptly stopped at the bridge team 7 used to meet, and to my surprise… he kneeled down on one knee! The thoughts were running around in my head so fast, I could have fainted. _'Is he proposing?' 'Where's the ring?' 'Do I look okay?' _

And so, I was slowly stretching my fingers, preparing to thrust it to Sasuke once he popped the question and squeal 'yes' and then jump on him and say that I love him so, so, much, and then we'll make love under the stars (cliché). And to my dismay, Sasuke bent down (I thought he was going to take out the ring, but nooooo) and began fixing his shoelace. HIS FUCKING SHOELACE! THAT WAS A TOTAL BLOW TO MY EXCITEMENT, THAT SON OF A BITCH! After Sasuke finished tying his damned shoelace, he stood up and looked at my sour face. "What?" he asked obliviously. "Nothing," I spat as I stormed of.

That night, the little bastard got what he deserved; the couch.

The next morning, feeling a lot calmer after getting a full night of sleeping, I went to the kitchen only to find a shirtless Sasuke (damn his abs, my hands literally twitched, wanting to run them on his abs) making some onigiri for breakfast. "Good morning," I yawned as I wrapped my hands around his waist and kissed his bare back. "Hn," he mumbled as he turned around with a plate full of onigiris and set it out on the table. We took a seat and ate silently.

When we finished, Sasuke did something unexpected. "Marry me," he blurted out. I blinked, and then gaped, and then blinked again. He looked at me impatiently, "well?" By now, I had tears in my eyes, and if you think its tears of joy… you're dead wrong.

"_YOU CALL _THAT_ A PROPOSAL?! SASUKE UCHIHA YOU ARE A LOUSY EXCUSE OF A MAN! GO TO HELL_!" I yelled at him – hot tears running down my cheek, "_TO THINK YOU WERE ABOUT TO PROPOSE LAST NIGHT WHERE IT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND, AND YOU GOT ON ONE KNEE… YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PULL OUT A RING AND THEN ASK ME TO MARRY YOU, AND, AND I WOULD START BAWLING MY EYES WHILE SAYING YES, AND THEN YOU WOULD HUG ME AND KISS ME WHILE SAYING YOU LOVE ME, AND, AND IT WILL BE A PERFECT CLICHÉ, AND, AND –_ " my babbling (and crying) was stopped by his soft lips, and before I knew it, we were on the bed (again).

* * *

On a normal wedding day, the bride's maid of honor was supposed to be her best friend, the groom's best man was supposed to give him advices and his full support, the one to wed the bride and the groom was supposed to be the Hokage (in my case), the bride's mother was supposed to be in tears of joy watching her baby girl getting married, the groom was supposed to give the bride a nice chaste kiss after their vows, and at the reception, the newlyweds were supposed to have their first dance after they feed each other some cake and maybe get a little icing here and there, but most of all, the bride was supposed to be in tears of mixed feelings; sad that she had to leave her parents, but happy to spend an eternity with her new husband, the man she loved.

My wedding day was anywhere near normal. Since I was the first out of Konoha eleven to get married, Naruto (being the simple minded person he is) didn't know what a bride's maid of honor is. After the proposal, the guys hung out and Kiba dared Naruto to be my maid of honor. Naruto thought it was _Made_ of Honor, so he (stupidly) accepted it – risking his pride, to run around Konoha –naked– if he didn't. Ino was chosen to be my maid of honor, so when she found out that Naruto wanted to be the maid of honor; she attacked him (read; bitch slapped). I settled things down by saying I didn't mind having two maids of honor (I can't forsake Naruto's pride, and I can't imagine to not have Ino as my maid of honor).

The shock of my life happened when Naruto came into my dressing room on my wedding day – with all the girls behind him who were giggling like crazy – in an (ironically) orange bride's maid's dress. He explained that a month earlier, he got a phone call from the tailor who made the bride's maid's dresses asking for his size. Unfortunately, he was in the shower at that time, so Hinata picked up the phone and gave his size. That morning, he was forced to put his dress on, and Ino told him he couldn't be a maid of honor without a dress, so he gave in. I was speechless. I didn't have time to tell him to go get changed into a tux as I was shoved by Ino out of the dressing room and onto the foot of the aisle with my dad by my side.

Because Naruto was my maid of honor, Sasuke had to choose another man to be his best man, who happened to be Kakashi. Kakashi gave a perverted grin as he kept giving Sasuke advices for our _'nightly adventures'_ (that old pervert). Kakashi was driving him insane as he failed to restrain himself from strangling his best man. He stopped his strangling when he heard the music play as I walked down the aisle with my father beside me. I don't think he saw Naruto because he didn't show any signs of bursting into laughter or even a sneer. His eyes were sincere, which was the first time I saw those onyx orbs vulnerable, as he gave a smirk which could count as a small _smile_ (have you _seen_ Sasuke Uchiha smile? He's practically emotionally constipated, so that is something).

My dad handed me over to Sasuke as he kissed my cheek. We turned and were surprised to see no signs of Tsunade-shisou in front of us. Apparently she was on the floor, clutching her sides for her dear life, laughing like a mad (wo)man, while pointing at Naruto (who was still clad his orange dress) and occasionally muttering Rokudaime-hime before laughing again, until she was finally sent to the hospital due to lack of oxygen in her system.

Naruto stepped up in front of us and announced he– the Rokudaime in running (cue eye roll) – will be the one who wed the bride and the groom. I twitched; Sasuke glared, but decided to continue anyway.

My mother was tearing not because I'm getting married, but because during my vow, Naruto accidentally stepped on my foot with his stiletto (why was he wearing stilettos anyway?) and I cursed (loudly) as my mother laughed at me (mom, your daughter is getting married, and you're laughing like a maniac). She stopped as she wiped her tears of joy and apologized to the crowd (who were snickering) and asked me to continue.

After our vows, Naruto declared us Mr. and Mrs. Sasuke Uchiha, and cued for Sasuke to kiss the bride (me!). So, he did. For _ten_ fucking minutes. Okay, I don't think it was really appropriate for us to have a make out session on the aisle but wow, did I marry a good kisser. And it didn't help with Sasuke's wandering hands that started to play with the zipper of my dress. I faintly heard people coughing awkwardly, but paid no attention to it – being drowned in our own world. But Kiba just _had_ to say it didn't he? What did he say, you ask? He said (yelled), "Uchiha! Save it for the honeymoon! Don't jump on each other now, we're hungry!" So reluctantly, we pulled away, catching our breaths.

At the reception, Sasuke _'accidentally' _missed my mouth when feeding me – smudging the cake All. Over. My. Freaking. Beautiful. Face. (Go to hell Sweetheart, go to hell) and he_ laughed_. If I wasn't so mesmerized by his oh-so-smooth voice I would have made sure he won't ever restore the Uchiha clan. I excused myself to go to the bathroom to clean up, but when I stood up, my foot that _Miss Baka_ stomped on, bled, like a lot. Then, to make things worse, I fell down. And sprained my ankle. So I missed my fist dance.

Fuck.

By the time we were finished, I was in tears. I was crying from joy; not because I was married to Sasuke (well, I was happy we got married, but that's not the point) but because I got to see Naruto in a dress and got lots of pictures of him. I was crying (bawling) from remorse; not because I was leaving my parents (because I technically left them the day I moved in with Sasuke) but because my makeup was ruined and my foot hurt as hell (thanks a lot, Naruto).

* * *

So, I never got the Cliché moment I wanted, thanks to my idiotic best friend and my silent but sweet husband. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

.

.

END

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A/N: So... This is my first fic! Read and Review! No flames please! XD :3


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